With a hole in the heart and bullet in the brain...I'll welcome you to my world
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Name: s.xtc


Interests: Reading. Writing. Stars. Music. Poetry.


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Member Since: 7/21/2004

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I have a VAGINA and you don't.
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I wear too much eyeliner.
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University of Toronto at Scarborough
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Saturday, November 21, 2009

There comes a point in time when everybody has to put away childish things.

And you, my dear, are the stuff of child's dreams.


Sunday, November 15, 2009



Made me think; that's all.  


Saturday, November 14, 2009

"...You..."

I wish I could say that as if I'm playing the role of the protagonist of a tragedy in the middle of a confromtation with the antagonist. It's like you're the scar of some tragic accident from eons ago and everything else afterwards is marred by your mere passing - the past that never fades into the background. Almost like obtrusive white noise falling in place in microphones in my mind. You're the salt in the earth that life shudders from.

But moving on...the concept of love is an interesting one. Interesting enough that it's actually against all instincts where you could imagine and sense that it is actually dangerous but the subject ignore that as if it's a mere by-product of the attraction. When somebody falls in love, it's as if you fall out of yourself and into something entirely different. Sometimes I find myself so...so tired.

Sometimes I want to find me again. Is that so wrong?


Friday, October 16, 2009

knowing. thinking.

I wish I knew everything is as certain as I think they are. But after tonight, just after a very simple and seemingly insignificant turn of events, it's as if something just fell through in my head and nothing makes sense. Chaos. Thought I knew everything but that was just once upon a time.

We're all looking for something whether we know it or not...if only I knew.


Thursday, October 15, 2009

A new perspective on things

It's been a busy couple of days and some things have just started to set in. Honestly, life is short and even though you see the strength of life in so many things, oftentimes, it really isn't the case. And when you're wishing you got to know somebody better, it's usually too late which just makes it all a little sadder. The last week has been about thinking; there are some things that shouldn't go unsaid, especially to the ones that matter. And I'm so ashamed to say that what pushed me to initiate conversation with my own grandparents was the death of someone else's.

People (including me) don't really appreciate the real things in life anymore and it's kind of scary how it takes THIS kind of situation to bring me back to terms with that. It's a heartbreaking that some people don't even have the luxury of breathing on their own, and then there's some others that just willingly choose to poison themselves.

This is about taking things for granted and how truly, when some things are gone, they're gone.


"Husha, husha, we all fall down"



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